Shitty Habit #1: Of vs. Have

Once upon a time in a small village called Grammarville, there lived two families. The Of family and the Have family. The Of family had three sons. Could, Should and Would. These three brothers were the bullies of the village, picking on any unfortunate soul. Their favorite victims however, were the Have brothers.

There were three brothers in the Have family also. Their names were Might, Ought to, and Must. They had been very sad ever since the Of brothers began picking on them two years ago.

One day while in English class, the Of boys were stricken down with a terrible case of the Grammar Plague. The Grammar Plague is a peculiar disease indeed! It strikes only those who have horrible grammar skills. And, boy, did those Of brothers have horrible grammar skills! Just by writing their full names they violated the Holy Book of Grammar!

The Have brothers felt no sympathy towards the Of brothers. Laughing, the Have brothers celebrated the Of brothers' misfortune. Everyone knew the Grammar Plague caused death in 100% of its victims.

The poor Of brothers died soon after contracting the Grammar Plague. They were sent to grammar Heck where they are currently changing their last names. The Have brothers story remains much happier. After the Of brothers died, the Have brother were no longer oppressed and could finally be known as the “Proper Grammar Boys.” They lived happily ever after.

The moral of this story is to use "have" after could, should, would, might, ought to and must in order to avoid Grammar Heck.