Once upon a time in a small village called Grammarville, there lived two families. The Of family and the Have family. The Of family had three sons. Could, Should and Would. These three brothers were the bullies of the village, picking on any unfortunate soul. Their favorite victims however, were the Have brothers.
There were three brothers in the Have family also. Their names were Might, Ought to, and Must. They had been very sad ever since the Of brothers began picking on them two years ago.
One day while in English class, the Of boys were stricken down with a terrible case of the Grammar Plague. The Grammar Plague is a peculiar disease indeed! It strikes only those who have horrible grammar skills. And, boy, did those Of brothers have horrible grammar skills! Just by writing their full names they violated the Holy Book of Grammar!
The Have brothers felt no sympathy towards the Of brothers. Laughing, the Have brothers celebrated the Of brothers' misfortune. Everyone knew the Grammar Plague caused death in 100% of its victims.
The poor Of brothers died soon after contracting the Grammar Plague. They were sent to grammar Heck where they are currently changing their last names. The Have brothers story remains much happier. After the Of brothers died, the Have brother were no longer oppressed and could finally be known as the “Proper Grammar Boys.” They lived happily ever after.
The moral of this story is to use "have" after could, should, would, might, ought to and must in order to avoid Grammar Heck.
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10 comments:
Hi,
LOL yes and it could (have), made it worse for the others...
xoxoox
Argh, one of my grammar pet peeves! I find it's rarely an ESL mistake, but a big one for native speakers. Finding it in blogs makes me crazy, finding it in a "legitimate" publication makes me think that we need a major overhaul of the education system. At least ESL students learn the past modals correctly, I think most natives just write what they hear and don't even think about it. We do tend to "reduce" the pronunciation "would've" which in turn becomes "would of" on the written page. Spell check doesn't catch it, but LanguageNerds will!
Don't get me started on "wanna, gonna, hafta", words heard so frequently in movies and song that my students think they it's perfectly acceptable to use them but are surprised when they don't find them in dictionaries.
@CancunCanuck - Oh, we definitely need an overhaul in the education system. I recently decided to study TESL, and so I've been paying more attention to how I speak. This is something I've noticed: my meaning will be "would have" but I honestly cannot distinguish whether I've actually said "would've" or "would of." Even though I know the correct grammar, it doesn't always make it out of my mouth - but it is not a mistake I would ever make in writing, unless I really wasn't paying attention. Which is kind of interesting.
And spell check is not something that would check such an error, because it's not a spelling issue, it's a grammar one. Spell check is definitely not a cure-all!
I love that post Amanda! The ending made me giggle.
Thanks Sara! Perhaps we should all be making more of an effort to avoid Grammar Heck?
"would have" is normally pronounced with a reduced form of "have" that sounds like [əv] or [ə]. This is normal. Who really fully articulates the "have"? So "would of" is an understandable mistake.
I fully understand why the mistake is made. Would have becomes would've becomes would of. But an understandable mistake is still a mistake.
I'm curious about CancunCanuck's comments about "wanna, gonna, hafta". These (and would've) are reduced forms and are a normal part of spoken English. Doesn't it make sense to teach ESL students what they are and how to use them appropriately.
I think teaching the reduced pronunciation is fine, but for writing it is not acceptable. In fact I do teach the reductions, but I am very clear that I do not want to see it in the written form. I'm also clear that using the reduced form is ok for informal conversations, but it would not be appropriate in a formal situation such as a job interview or entrance interview to school.
If I were in human resources, I would have a serious problem with someone who responded to questions with "wanna" or "gonna". Unless I'm the human resources at Burger King I suppose. Since most of my students tell me they are learning English to get a better job, I want to ensure that they are learning proper English in order to succeed in a competitive job market.
lol, that's cute.
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